Chapter 12: SaltNPepper
/From: SaltNPepper To: Jill_Harris
Subject: I know my purpose
Good morning! Have you found your match or are you still looking? Either way, care you chat about it? I’m normal, sane, and intrigued.
From: Jill_Harris To: SaltNPepper
Re: I know my purpose
Still looking for my prince. Although I *have* received several “colorful” pictures, one threat to my physical person, one threat to call the police on me (for what??), and one marriage proposal. So it hasn’t been a total loss so far.
From: SaltNPepper To: Jill_Harris
Subject: I know my purpose
CL does bring out the best in humanity, haha. What’s a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?
From: Jill_Harris To: SaltNPepper
Re: I know my purpose
I have no idea. I’m going through something right now. A crisis of sorts. I feel like my life isn’t where I want it to be and I don’t know how to get unstuck from where I am. I’m 40 years old. I never imagined I’d end up so alone, at this age. My ex and I used to look at each other when we saw other people fight and joke “let’s never get divorced” because the whole idea of us ever splitting seemed so impossible. But here I am, middle aged, single, horny, and alone. I try to be a good person. I try to be a good mom. I’m sick of feeling like I’m destined to be alone forever.
From: SaltNPepper To: Jill_Harris
Subject: I know my purpose
Why alone though? You seem like a nice, decent, person. I know some real assholes who managed to find someone. Why are you destined to be alone?
From: Jill_Harris To: SaltNPepper
Re: I know my purpose
I just am. It’s complicated.
From: SaltNPepper To: Jill_Harris
Subject: I know my purpose
So what happened with the guy who threatened to call the police. What in the world did you do to him?
From: Jill_Harris To: SaltNPepper
Re: I know my purpose
As best I can work out, I didn’t text him for 25 hours. Although he didn’t text me for those 25 hours either. So I literally don’t know. We texted goodnight, and then 25 hours later he texted me furious and threatening. And now he has my phone number and my name, and my phone number is google-able to my work, so I’m feeling really creepy about the whole thing.
So what are you up to today?
From: SaltNPepper To: Jill_Harris
Subject: I know my purpose
I just left work and I’m heading toward the lake. There’s a nice bike path there and it leads down to the Spring Festival in town. So, tell me about you. I’ll ask a few questions to help start us off. Born and raised.. .where? What do you do for work? How many emails did you get from your post?
From: Jill_Harris To: SaltNPepper
Re: I know my purpose
Grew up in NYC. Came here after college and I’ve been here ever since. I work in the field of education. And I’ve gotten so many responses you probably wouldn’t believe me so I shouldn’t say.
How old are you? What do you do for a living? Where are you from?
From: SaltNPepper To: Jill_Harris
Subject: I know my purpose
42, I own a business. Spent most of my childhood traveling in the southern US, as well as Germany and Japan (military family). What’s your situation? What do you look like?
From: Jill_Harris To: SaltNPepper
Re: I know my purpose
Situation is I've been divorced for about 4 years now. I have two kids, who are with me most of the time and go to their dad’s every other weekend. In theory I'm not opposed to the idea of getting remarried *someday* but I'm not looking for an instant family and with the people I've dated, I haven't had them involved in my kids' lives.
I work full time and squeeze in a lot of socializing into the weekends my kids are at their dad's.
I’m short, long blonde hair, brown eyes, nothing special to look at.
How’s the spring festival? Is it one of the alcohol-based festivals?
From: SaltNPepper To: Jill_Harris
Subject: I know my purpose
Mostly food. There’s some beer but it’s not like St. Patrick’s Day or Octoberfest. So what are you looking for here?
From: Jill_Harris To: SaltNPepper
Re: I know my purpose
I would say that I’m looking for new experiences. And I don’t mean sexual experiences with strangers. But I think part of my midlife crisis thing is realizing how much of my life is the same, day in and day out. I am looking for ways to expand my comfort zone.
From: SaltNPepper To: Jill_Harris
Subject: I know my purpose
I get it. So what would you like to do to expand your horizons. Tell me a fantasy.
From: Jill_Harris To: SaltNPepper
Re: I know my purpose
I actually don’t know. Travel maybe? Write a book? Try new restaurants? Get lost in the woods? Design a board game?
How do you push the boundaries?
From: SaltNPepper To: Jill_Harris
Subject: I know my purpose
I’m currently being medicated for service-related PTSD. I’ve done all the traveling and adrenaline hunting I can take. Now I’m just looking to meet new people and have some fun if it presents itself. Sexually, I have a few fantasies I want to play out…
From: SaltNPepper To: Jill_Harris
Subject: I know my purpose
Hope that didn’t scare you off.
From: Jill_Harris To: SaltNPepper
Re: I know my purpose
No, no, you didn’t scare me off. I was just busy putting the kids to bed. Of course, I’m concerned about you and I’m sorry for whatever you went through to cause that.
I will admit to being curious about your sexual fantasies. If you care to share.
From: SaltNPepper To: Jill_Harris
Subject: I know my purpose
The PTSD means that I don’t sleep and I’m kind of an emotionless robot at times. I was a combat medic in the Army.
Ok I will share a fantasy but then it’s your turn.
I schedule a massage at a legit massage therapy office. The masseuse is strictly professional during the session but then I sense her trying to seduce me with her hands. Slowly rubbing closer to my cock every time she works her way up my legs. Getting a little extra friendly as she massages my glutes. I try to remain uninterested and I try to distract myself but I can’t help it, I’m hard, and the towel has ceased to be any sort of barrier. One thing leads to another and she completes the massage session… with her tongue.
From: Jill_Harris To: SaltNPepper
Re: I know my purpose
Goodness! I don’t know if I have anything like that to share.
From: SaltNPepper To: Jill_Harris
Subject: I know my purpose
What? I got totally vulnerable and now you’re not playing along?
From: Jill_Harris To: SaltNPepper
Re: I know my purpose
Ok, I will get vulnerable too and share what I’m really thinking.
Most of my fantasies over the years have been kind of submissive. Like, being with a man who takes charge in an old-fashioned patriarchal, man is the head of the household kind of way. In real life I have to take care of everything, and in my fantasies, I just let it all go and someone else makes all the decisions. Lately I’ve been getting upset with myself. I know it’s a fantasy but it bothers me to think that I want to be controlled. Like there’s something wrong with me. Why would I fantasize about that?
See now you made me get all serious.
From: SaltNPepper To: Jill_Harris
Subject: I know my purpose
Ok then let’s take a step back and talk about something else. Like your boobs. Describe them.
From: Jill_Harris To: SaltNPepper
Re: I know my purpose
Well, I am 40 and I’ve nursed two kids for over a year…
But they’re nice and big and round and they definitely like to be touched and licked and sucked and kissed.
From: SaltNPepper To: Jill_Harris
Subject: I know my purpose
I was totally joking by asking and now I’m completely speechless.
From: Jill_Harris To: SaltNPepper
Re: I know my purpose
Oops, I thought you were serious.
From: SaltNPepper To: Jill_Harris
Subject: I know my purpose
I’ve been thinking about your fantasy thing. I think you’re being too hard on yourself. You should just let yourself indulge. It’s not real life. Just… let your mind go where it wants to go.
Do you have a real email address? Are we at that point yet?
From: Jill_Harris To: SaltNPepper
Re: I know my purpose
I’m shy about sharing. Would you care to meet up first?
From: SaltNPepper To: Jill_Harris
Subject: I know my purpose
Sure, some evening after work? My schedule can be pretty flexible.
From: Jill_Harris To: SaltNPepper
Re: I know my purpose
Let’s do it.
Move to folder: Pending